Today marks the end of financial year 2010 for me and I must say that everything went quite smoothly for a change. There were a few stuff ups along the way but I can say it was commendable as almost the whole finance team other than my CFO, Project Accountant and myself were new. Another year to add to my commerce experience. The end of August also marks the end of my third year in commerce. It was not long ago that I was a newbie in commerce fresh out of the profession. When I joined commerce, I thought I had the world at my mercy (that is what they tell you when you get recruited into the world of the Big-4 accounting firms..."...we only recruit the BEST of the BEST"). But boy was I so wrong?!

I used to think my clients in commerce were so silly because of the mistakes they make and yes, I’ve made all the same mistakes and I must be even more silly since I supposedly had an upper hand of seeing them made before. Needless to say, when I joined commerce, the learning curve was really steep and I really enjoyed that whole process although it was tiring and tedious. At that point, I felt I needed to challenge and prove myself to everyone including myself. The GFC that happened end of 2008 dampened not only the industry and business investments, but it also gave me an excuse to slow down and reconsider my life. One would expect that the more familiar you are with what you do, the more comfortable you would be doing it. The irony is now that I have reached my comfort zone, the work I once found attractive is no longer that, but restrictive.

I can’t seem to pinpoint why I find it work less attractive. Is it because it lacks the challenge I once had? Is it fatigue from over working myself initially? Is it because my priorities in life has changed? Is it because it is too time consuming? Is it because I am not doing something I enjoy doing? How can I make work more enjoyable? Is working a 9-5 job something I really want? Am I ready to embark on another chapter of my life? What is it?

~meiister is feeling frustrated…

I feel so tired and drained although I have just woken up from my afternoon nap. It's 5.27pm and I slept for 4 hours!!! Shit?!! I hope I will still be able to sleep tonight. Having insomnia is one of the worst state one can be in because that is the time when the mind goes wandering and usually it wanders so much that it turns negative. Sometimes I cannot even differentiate whether it was a nasty thought or merely a bad dream.

I sometime wonder about the dreams we dream, is it something we have thought about or witnessed and experienced in real life without taking much notice or just something random that the mind generates? Who are those people in our dreams? Have we met them? The other day, after watching the movie Avatar, I had a really disturbing dream about people looking Avatar like (i.e. very long limbs) but with really pale white instead of blue skin being killed in broad day light. The dream began like this...

"We were dropped off by a taxi at the junction. The people I was with happen to be some primary school mates that I haven't met or seen in the past 10 years and it seemed like that place we were dropped off was just a usual place they frequented as they walked around with familiarity. As we walked down the road, there were houses on both sides which had pools in front where these Avatar like people were just lying in catching any sun they can get. There were willow trees planted on each side of the road and the weather looked gloomy maybe because the willow trees were blocking the light from the sun. We walked up to the main road and there was a booth where one of these Avatar girl was placed on the table. She looked chained up and miserable. After we past her, we can hear people restraining her and a sickening sound of limbs being chopped up. She was screaming and pleading for help but all passerbys were just strolling along like nothing unusual was happening..."

I did not dare turn around to witness the sickening ritual but up until today I can still remember her screams in the background. So twisted and disturbing... I wish we only had pretty and beautiful dreams.

Yesterday was the second last day of January and I started the day cleaning up the apartment since I will be having a house inspection tomorrow. After that, Co came to fetch me for lunch at Tak Chee with AL and SC. That was pleasant although I was not very hungry (not sure what is wrong with me but I haven't been hungry for awhile). After lunch, we headed to the Innaloo Megaplex to watch Avatar 3D in Gold Class. Nice sheer indulgence that you need once in awhile. The movie was pretty good (rating out of 10, I give it 7.5). I reckon, it was a bit too long but Sam Worthington is totally HOT!!!

Everyone came back to my place after lunch as we had about an hour and half to kill before dinner. I fixed up Jo's computer in the meantime, while the others chatted. At about 6ish we headed to the Floreat Forum for a japanese buffet at the Shimizu Grand as it was KK's birthday dinner. We then proceeded to Leederville for coffee at the Monza. KK dropped Jo and I back at my place after dinner and we had cider and chatted til about 2.30am.

January came and went really quickly. I guess time flies when you're having fun!! Awesome!!

~meiister just woke up from her nap and is working on updating all the softwares on her lappie